Feeling the Muse...

It's eight thirty in the morning..And I'm sitting here staring at this blinking courser wondering what to write. I've thought about journaling again for a while, and just never found the time.. But that seems to be my life lately. I "just never find the time" to write, or read, or clean, or go to the gym, or..anything.. So I got to thinking, what do I DO with all my time?

My life is so crazy right now, two kids and everything that goes with them. And I'm not sleeping again. Nicholas has been having some rough nights and so I haven't been getting to bed until late and then Maddie's been waking up in the middle of the night...

Let me tell you, not getting in bed until midnight, and then being woken up two or three times sure make six thirty come WAY too soon. I'm so tired all I want to do is sleep.

I have a feeling this post is going to be everywhere..So bare with me..Just read it as stream of consciousness and you'll be okay. ;)

I miss writing. I miss sitting down with a blank notebook and filling the pages with words. I miss watching the stories in my head come to life. I don't know why I'm not writing anymore. I still want to be a writer..Hell, I wish it was what I was going to school for. I wish every day I'd never started business classes. I don't CARE about them. I could care less if I pass or fail. If I could start over, I'd go for creative writing and fill my schedule with English and writing courses. *sigh* If, If, if...

Things aren't all bad, just rough. I know they'll level out, but it's the waiting that'll kill you. Nicholas is getting so big, and smart. He's just precious and his smile lights up my day. And luckily for us Maddie seems to really be enjoying school. Lets just hope we can build on that and she'll keep it through high school!

I plan on working on this blog more, and making at least a post a week. I can't promise what they'll be, but I'll be posting. One day it may be a long, journal-ish one like this, another a funny picture/video, a song, or a snippet of something I'm working on. So stay tuned too keep informed!

A New Tale

Hello readers!! 

I'm at it again! My writing fairy has returned to me! Hurrah!!

And so, without further ado, I would like to share with you chapter one of my newest tale. 

-Enjoy

Chapter one

With Or Without You

Jennifer Demeter

“This is the last box, Briney.” Todd called, walking into the kitchen and setting the box down with the flourish.

I grinned up at him setting down the vase I’d just unpacked and ran toward him. I threw my arms around his neck, laughing as he caught me up and spun me around. His arms tightened around my waist as he lowered me to the floor, kissing me deeply.

“Welcome home, Mrs. Chambers.” His green eyes sparkled in the mid-morning light pouring in from the kitchen windows. The words brought butterflies to my stomach. I stared up at him, sure I was wearing the sappiest expression on the planet, but I couldn’t help it. He was perfect, everything I’d always wanted, and he was mine.

I ran my fingers through his brown hair, noting that it needed a trim. His long lashed eyes gazed down at me, full of love and promise. Every time I looked into those eyes, I was home.

I looked around the small kitchen, filled with boxes, and grinned like a fool. Welcome home indeed.

We’d found the house on accident. Todd had gotten turned around, and instead of trusting the GPS, had insisted that it was wrong and that he knew where he was going. I’d laughed and let him, enjoying the ride. It had been spring in Northern California, and it was cool and beautiful that day, a balmy sixty-five degrees. I’d nearly given him a heart attack when I’d screamed for him to stop. I jumped out of the car before he’d fully parked and stood, staring at it.

It was a petite little place, cream on cream, with a built in garage and a short pathway lined with flowers. The brilliant green door caught my eye and pulled me toward it. Todd tapped my shoulder soundlessly and pointed at the sign in the perfectly manicured lawn that read “For Sale”.

“Buying this house was the second best decision I’ve ever made.” He said, pushing a lock of blonde hair off my face, holding me close and swaying gently to and fro.

“Oh? And what was the first?” I teased lightly, easily falling into the motion with him.

“Marrying you, of course!”

I squealed in delight as he lifted me from the floor again, throwing me over his shoulder and stalking down the hall toward the master bedroom.

“Todd! Put me down! We don’t have time for this!” But I couldn’t stop the laughter from bubbling up from my chest. I squealed again when he dropped me onto the bed, jumping on after me and staring down at me, a lustful look in his eye.

“Todd, we don’t even have sheets on the bed.” I protested feebly as his hand played at the hem of my shirt. My body ached for his touch, burned for him. I wondered if that burning would ever fade, prayed it wouldn’t.

“Sheets? We don’t need no stinking sheets.” He flashed a boyish grin at me and lowered himself upon me. The laughter died in my throat as his lips found mine, awakening the sleeping beast within.

“Todd,” I moaned, and allowing him to pull me into the pleasure of the moment, I lost myself.

I lay in bed, basking in the afterglow of our love making. Todd’s soft, even breathing comforted me. I rolled the diamond solitaire around my finger, watching the stone flash in the dying sunlight. I still couldn’t believe it. There were days I expected to wake up and find it had all been a painfully beautiful dream.

The last year of my life seemed to fly by in the blink of an eye. I smiled as I recalled the first time I’d met Todd. I’d just moved to California, and had only been in the state for two weeks after making the monumental decision to move across the country.

I was desperately homesick for Maryland, and seriously second guessing myself as I pulled into the parking lot of my new school, West View Middle. I stared at the building, my heart thumping in my chest. Grabbing my bag I slid out of the car, straightening my sweater as I walked into the building. My heels clicked in the silent hallway. I entered the office and found it empty. Not knowing what else to do, I sat in one of the waiting chairs, and waited.

I checked my watch, wondering where the principal was, wondering if I should just give up and go back to my broom closet apartment, call my father and admit I was wrong and beg to come home when he walked in.

His smile was the first thing I noticed. The complete openness of it shocked me. He held the door open for a tiny white haired woman, his arms full of folders and papers.

“Thank you again, Todd. You’re such a dear heart to help out an old woman.” The woman turned to him, taking her papers and folders back.

“No thanks necessary, Mrs. Banks.” His eyes, they were green, flashed behind incredibly sexy glasses. Somehow the thin black squares seemed a part of him. His brown hair was trimmed short on the sides and left stylishly long on top. His pale face was a wonderfully odd mix of angles. His nose was a perfect straight line, cutting down between slashing eyebrows. His lips were bowed at the tips, evidence of an ever ready smile.

Then those eyes fell on me, and my pulse sky rocketed. My heart slammed against my ribs, as if it were trying to break free. I wished I was wearing something classier than my cream cardigan and khaki pants. He moved toward me and my shoes suddenly became very interesting.

“Hello there.” His voice was a pleasant rumble that sent chills down my spine. My heart drummed away in my chest so loudly, I wondered that he couldn’t hear it.

“Hi,” I squeaked, still unable to look up at him. I was sure I was blushing, I could feel the heat rising up my neck.

“So, do you come here often?”

I jerked my head up, taken aback at the absurdity of his statement. Startling green eyes met mine, laughter reflected in their jade depths.

“Got ya.” He sat next to me, his knee brushing against mine, sending electricity coursing through my veins.

“I’m Todd Chambers, I teach science.” He extended a hand, offering a warm friendly smile.

“Uh, Sabrina Townsend, I teach music.” I took his hand, staring into his eye, finding myself utterly captivated.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Sabrina Townsend.” His voice had dropped and he held onto my hand much longer than was necessary. I wasn’t complaining about it though. I’d never believed in love at first sight, but now it seemed I was experiencing it firsthand.

I opened my mouth, but what I was going to say was lost as Principal McCallister came out of her office and called me in.

“I, uh, I have to go.” I stammered, reluctantly pulling my hand from his and lifting my bag to my shoulder.

“I’m sure we’ll meet again. It’s not a big school.”

And meet again we did. Todd sought me out at lunch on my first day, talking to me nonstop and introducing me to the rest of the faculty. I began to look forward to the lunch hour, to getting to spend time with Todd.

Three months into my time at the school, roses began appearing at my classroom. My students soon got into the game, speculating on who was sending the roses, catcalling and making kissing noises every time one arrived.

“Enough. Settle down.” I told them gently, but my heart skipped a beat as I lifted the delicate bloom to my nose.

It was the afternoon of March 18^th, and I walked into my classroom to find my students huddled around my desk. Curious, I hurried into the room.

“Hey, what’s going on? Please take your seats, now.” My brow furrowed I moved around my desk. My heart skipped happily as my eyes fell on the rose laying there. It rested atop a slim white card. With shaking fingers I lifted the card. This was the first time I’d ever gotten a card. I unfolded the paper and stared at the four words printed there.

“This makes one-hundred.”

I stared at the cryptic note, turning it over absentmindedly. On the back were two words.

“Turn around.”

I turned and humped back in surprise. Todd kneeled before me, a huge grin on his face and a box open before me.

“Sabrina Townsend, will you marry me?”

“Yes!” I threw myself at him as the room erupted in whoops, whistles and yells.

Six amazing months later, we were married. And now, we had our own house. We were living the American Dream.

I smiled, looking over at the sleeping form of my husband. Our one year anniversary was coming up. I couldn’t wait. That day meant the world to me. Not only would I be celebrating the best day of my life, but Todd and I would be taking the next big step.

“One year, Briney. Let’s take one year, just you and me. Then we’ll try for babies.”

I placed my hand on my stomach, imaging I could feel his child inside me. I giggled softly at the thought. I couldn’t wait.

Todd rolled over in his sleep, wrapping his arm around me. I curled into him, breathing deeply the scent of him. And with thoughts of our future children dancing in my head, I drifted off to sleep, a smile on my lips.

The New Jenn

Gym: Day 1

Went to the gym this morning with Josie for our workout this morning. Today is day three of my Zpak medicine, and I was still feeling a little snuffly, but aside from that and not as much sleep as I would have liked (my own fault) I was generally ready to go.

I met Andy, our personal trainer and we went over nutrition and what I'm doing right and foods to stay away from and the like. That took all of fifteen minutes. Then it was onto our workout!

Poor Josie..She was stuck doing cardio the entire time Andy and I were talking. So she was nice and sweaty by the time I came over. I got a measly five minutes of cardio before Andy said it was time to get to work!

We worked on arms today. I can't tell you what all we did, but it was a lot, and by the time we were done with the first set, my arms were screaming. We worked out on several different machines, each one working out a different muscle.

It was all going fine and great, until I stood up and nearly passed out! Stupid me didn't eat a decent breakfast ( A go-Gurt does nothing for you when working out.. FYI..). I got extremely dizzy and light headed and Josie had to go get me a protein shake.

Let me tell you, almost passing out in front of your kick ass trainer, no bueno.

My arms feel like lead, and I'm sure they will be worse tomorrow. I go for an appointment with Angie on Tuesday and then Josie and I are back with Andy on Thursday. And I'm sure I'll be going in for some Cardio and other stuff before then.

So yes folks, Jenn is going to the gym!!

Life

Oiy, so much has happened lately that I don't know where to begin...

Maddie and I left on July 7th to go to Arkansas to visit my mom and to be out there for the wedding. Let me tell you that things were HECTIC beyond belief! I worked my butt off out there doing just about everything under the sun in preparation for the wedding.

On top of things being crazy, it was in the triple digits just about every day! Which is RETARDED, if you ask me. I am so sick of being hot.. >.<... Added into the heat was a heap of family drama. I can't even get into it because it's all so insane. It's like a friggin' Jerry Springer episode. For realz, ya'll.

But all in all everything turned out great. The wedding was beautiful and we were all glad for the stress of that to be over with.

On a happier note, I got a new car!!!!
Okay..not new new, but it's new to me. It's a '94 Ford Taurus and it sure is pretty!! I'm totally stoked about having a newer car. It drives soo much nicer than the Buick, sweet old boat that she is. I'm very grateful to my mom and grandparents for giving me this opportunity to have a newer car.

On a sad note, Jason's Granny passed away Monday night. It was really difficult, because we didn't find out until we'd gotten home from driving from Arkansas Tuesday night. This week has been a whirl wind of driving and preparations. Her funeral was Saturday, and it was very tough on all of us.
Trying to explain death to a three year old is not easy. I'm still not sure how much Maddie understood. It's a hard moment, because I don't really want her to understand, but at the same time, I know she needs to.

We simply told her that Granny had to go to live with Jesus. Its comforting to know that we have an eternal home, and that death isn't really goodbye, just see you later. We will miss Granny very much, but I'm so glad I got to know her while she was here. I'm glad Maddie got to know her. I know she's in a better place, and is watching over us.

School starts tomorrow...I'm excited but not. I wish I was closer to being done. I feel like I've barely done anything. I guess it's because my classes have been so sporadic. I'll be so happy when I'm done and can focus on my photography. Photography makes me so happy. I wish I could do it every day.

Well readers, that's my life in a nutshell. Thank you all for being with me, those who are. I'm planning on getting back into posting on here. Going to try for at least twice a week. :o)

God bless and sweet dreams!

Paint With Me Thursday: Fences

Once more I'm a day late and a dollar short...I'm going to have to make an effort to change that.

This weeks challenge really challenged me. I couldn't think of a single thing to do with "fences". 

Here's my lamespice shot at fences. 

Happy weekend all!

Paint With Me Thursday: Dandelions

Holy Pop-Tarts Batman! 

Is it really Thursday already?

Yesterday was my birthday. I am now officially 24! I can believe that, but not that it's May already. Seriously? Seven months to Christmas? I'm not ready!

This weeks challenge on Simply Feather was Dandelions. I was so excited! Maddie and I had just been playing in the dandelions and I got some great pictures. Well, I think they're great anyway. 

So, without further ado, here's my dandelions:

Paint With Me Thursday: Circles

Is it Thursday already? 

I tried to think a lot about this weeks challenge, and had what I thought was the perfect piece...Until I accidently deleted it from my camera. That's right, I'm a dork. 

So here's my piece for this week. Well, I guess I should say pieces, because I couldn't decide which I liked better. :)

Here's one:

And two:

Live In The Sunshine - Short

I'm in the writing group on this website for moms, and every week they do writing challenges where you have certain words you have to use in the stories. I haven't been writing much lately, much to my own disappointment. So I took this as a personal challenge. "It took me two days (ridiculous!) but I finished it. I hope you enjoy it. :)

Feel free to leave me some love.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” I muttered as I switched off the car. My sneakers slapped against the pavement as I made my way into the novelty store.

“Hello there! Can I help you today?” A tiny woman came around the counter, her arms full of oddities. I picked up a rubber donkey from the shelf, squeezing it. It let out a loud bray and made the shop owner giggle.

“That one’s a good seller for the kids.” She looked me up and down as she placed items back on the shelves. “You don’t look like you need any rubber donkeys though, do ya?”

I looked down at myself. I must look like a fool, walking around down town in a prom dress, leggings and converse. I blushed slightly and tucked a few stray blond hairs behind my ear.

“Uh, yeah, someone told me you guys do balloon arrangements?” I picked at a scab on my arm, hoping no one would see me in here. I just wanted to get this over with. Why had I even agreed to this?

“Oh yes, we have lots of options. Come this way.”

Fifteen minutes later I exited the small shop with a handful of balloons and proceeded to fight them into my car.

“How the hell am I supposed to drive with these?” I batted and pushed at the balloons as I climbed into my car, taking care to keep my skirts out of the door. My cell phone blew up with the sounds of Mayday Parade.

“Hello? Nikki? Yeah, I bought the balloons. Yes, I’m in the dress. No, I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t know why I agreed to this in the first place! You don’t know what he’ll say. What? When? Now? Shit. Bye.” I threw the phone onto the passenger’s seat and cranked the engine.

I couldn’t believe it. As if I wasn’t putting myself out on the line already, Cassie Peters had somehow found out about my little plan and was currently on her way to out me.

I gunned the engine of my little Prius and sped down the road. I had to get to Brody’s house before she could. My heart was pounding so hard I could feel it in my ears. My tires squealed as I turned onto his street. I slammed to a stop and fought with my seat belt. This was the last thing I wanted. I didn’t want to have to rush.

Balloons in hand I made my way up the pristine white walkway. I could hear laughter and music and felt a stone of ice drop in my stomach. I was going to interrupt a party. Sighing, I fluffed my hair and pressed the doorbell.

Before I was ready the door opened and there he was, Brody Tanner, in all his muscular glory. My mouth felt as if I swallowed a box of cotton balls.

“Oh, Jenni, hi.” Brody stared at me, a banana halfway to his mouth. “Is there something you needed?”

My mind blanked. I couldn’t think of any of my rehearsed speech. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I must have looked like a freak, standing before him in a prom dress with balloons and a tiara.

“Umm…nice dress.” He looked me up and down, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Uh, thanks. I, uh, Brody…I…I was wondering…If…Do you have a cat?” I slapped my hand over my mouth. Why was I being so stupid? I shook my head, trying to ignore the tingling inside my nose.

“Umm, yeah. I do. But you didn’t get all dressed up to ask me if I had a cat, did you?” He leaned against the door frame, his blue eyes sparkling.

I stared into his eyes, feeling something well inside of me. Courage.

“Brody, I was wondering if…ACHOOO!”

I couldn’t stop it. There was no way. If I’d tried my head would have exploded.
I stood there in horror, my nose twitching. I’d done it now. I’d sneezed all over a dream boat.

“I…wanted to ask you to prom.” I said lamely, lowering my eyes and preparing for rejection.

Needless to say, I was shocked when I heard laughing. I looked up to find him, eyes closed in glee, hand against his well defined abs, laughing away. All I wanted was a hole to open up and swallow me whole.

“Well, thanks.” I turned and walked down the pathway, berating myself the whole way.

“Jenni! Wait!”

I turned, wondering what more humiliation was in store.

“Jenni, I would love to go to prom with you.”

A grin split my face as Brody reached up and cupped my cheek. His eyes sparkled as he lowered his lips to mine. I was sure fireworks must be exploding out of my ears. Numbly I heard soft cursing and the slamming of a car door.

Beat ya Cassie.

I grinned to myself and fell headlong into the kiss of the century.

Paint With Me Thursday: Black and White

Okay, so I know I'm a day late and a dollar short, but it's been that kind of week. I still really wanted to post this so here it is.
My wonderful friend Nikki ( find her here) turned me onto this. This wonderful lady does these inspirational challenges every week. It's a great way to get your mind flowing and take a break from the world.

I used to draw all the time, but it seems that now I just don't have the time (or talent) to do so anymore. Currently, as many of you may know, I'm doing photography.

Here is my creation:



"When the world seems black and white...something reminds us there's always shades of grey."

iWoot

The words I'm sorry seem so inadiquate. Maybe its because you hear them all the time. Does this mean that I'm sorry is like I love you? Too often said and too less meant. It sure makes it hard for those of us who DO mean it when they say I'm sorry.
No matter how over used, it doesn't change the fact that truth lies behind those words.
I'm sorry.